Wednesday, October 20, 2004

  Exhausted Prayer

Heavenly Baseball Father, I, Your unprofitable servant,
Am ashamed at my apostacy and unbelief.
I did not believe in Your Holy Idiots, and was unclean in my doubts.
You have purified me with 14 inning games, sleep deprivation, and leads narrowly clung to.

Thank you, Lord, for your healing grace (and the gift of Marcaine).
Your great love for your Nation was made manifest by
Schilling's dogged determination and wicked stuff.
Never has so much been owed by so many to but one.
May his ankle stay strong, and may he pitch many outtings in your service.

But now, Dear lord, I collapse, my ulcers raging.
I am your servant, Lord, but I am just about used up.
I ask your grace that I might be strong, O Lord, and able to survive tonight,
Whatever thy will brings to the Idiots.
I ask that you steel my will, and allow me to withstand the ramblings Of McCarver.
Dear Lord, of all your trials, he may be the most cruel!

We, Your Nation, turn now to the intercession of all Holy Batters and Fielders:

St. Yaz, Immaculate Captain, ora pro nobis
St Pudge, The Ever-Clutch, ora pro nobis
St. Dewey, The Gun in Right, ora pro nobis
St. Freddie, Mendicant of CF, ora pro nobis
St. Dom, The Underappreciated, ora pro nobis
St. Steamer of the Wayward Beach Ball, ora pro nobis
St. Buckner, The Maligned and Afflicted of the Lord, ora pro nobis
St. Spaceman, Proto-Idiot, ora pro nobis
St. Pesky of the Pole, ora pro nobis
Holy Tiant, Forerunner of the Facial Hair, ora pro nobis

But today we also ask for help from a strange quarter. For of all your Baseball Saints, There is one with who Your Nation must come to peace. And so we pray:

St Babe, Young Lefthander and Sox Stalwart, ora pro nobis.

The Youthful Babe Posted by Hello

Dieu li volt!


Monday, October 18, 2004

  Prayer of Thanksgiving

O Most Merciful Baseball Father, thou hast given
Unto thy undeserving Nation a great victory.
Many signs and omens have been given, and we,
Who wander like the Israelites in the desert,
Had lost faith.

But Thou art a Gentle Father, and have given us a rally for the ages.
Thank you, O Clement One, for the Great Papi, and
His mighty shoulders, which power many dingers unto Thy Glory

Grant, O Loving Divine Manager, that we,
Thy Unprofitable fans, might keep Thy Faith in our hearts,
So as to believe in the power of the intercession of Thy Holy Players:

St. Yaz, Immaculate Captain, ora pro nobis
St Pudge, The Ever-Clutch, ora pro nobis
St. Dewey, The Gun in Right, ora pro nobis
St. Freddie, Mendicant of CF, ora pro nobis
St. Dom, The Underappreciated, ora pro nobis
St. Steamer of the Wayward Beach Ball, ora pro nobis
St. Buckner, The Maligned and Afflicted of the Lord, ora pro nobis
St. Spaceman, Proto-Idiot, ora pro nobis
St. Pesky of the Pole, ora pro nobis
Holy Tiant, Forerunner of the Facial Hair, ora pro nobis

All Holy Fielders and Batters, ora pro nobis

If, in Thy Superabundant Generosity, Thou wast to allow
Thy Holy Idiots to be the first team to come back from 3-0,
We will declare a Holy Crusade to Arizona, to recover
The Holiest of Fenway Relics, the Head of the Thy servant
St. Ted, Holy Kid of the Homer.

Dieu li volt!

Cowboy Up!

Thursday, October 14, 2004


O Loving Father of all that is good on the diamond, hear our prayer!
The Holy Idiots of Landsdown Street are in grave danger,
Falling before the mercenary hordes of the Evil One.
Give them strength in this, their hour of need.

St. Cronin, Perpetual Manager, and St Yaz, Most Immaculate Captain, pray for us.

The man who would make himself an image of Your Son,
So tough in the leadoff spot all year,
Has lost his eye and swing, staying off the basepaths when he is most needed.
Grant him Your Favor, O Most Clement One, that he might pick up the ball,
and take many walks and smash many doubles, unto thy Everlasting Glory.

St Freddie, Patron of CF, and St. Dewey, Leadoff Warrior of the Lord, pray for us.

We pray that the stinky heat balm of Your healing Grace
Might come over the ankle tendons of Your servant Curt.
But if You so ordain that he must forebear,
May his stalwart support guide his brother pitchers
To many K's, and flyouts and groundouts.

Holy Tiant, Strong Arm of God, and Blessed Spaceman of the Bloody Fracas, pray for us.

The lineup, O lord, being so full of Your Idiotic Servants -
Manny and Ortiz, Millah and Trot, Tek and Mueller,
Bellhorn and He Who Has Replaced the Whiney One-
Grant that they may hit many RBI singles and doubles and dingers, which are so pleasing to You.

St. Ted, Holy Kid of the Homer, and St. Pudge, The Ever-Clutch, pray for us.

O Most Merciful Father, Your Idiots have been through the Dark Night,
Grant that they may leave behind in that Unholy Land all that ails them,
And find new life in the Most Holy of Your Temples.

St. Pesky of the Pole, and St. Dom the Underappreciated-because-of-His-evil-pinstriped-brother, pray for us.

All Holy Batters and Fielders, pray for us

May Your Servants take a Three Game Sweep at Home,
And send the Mercenary Hordes of He Who We Do Not Name
Back to their Bronx Coven, once again knowing the fury of Your Holy Crusaders

And may the ancient refrain, so rarely heard in these Dark Days, once again resound:



Tuesday, September 21, 2004

  Life is very busy right now. The boys started Montessori school a few weeks ago and Claire is growing, growing, growing. She will be six months old on Sunday. Here are her latest pictures.

Very Anne Geddes Posted by Hello

  Claire and Daddy Posted by Hello

  Claire surprised in the bath Posted by Hello

  Care for a bath? Posted by Hello

Monday, July 12, 2004

  She's got her floppy hat and she's ready for sun! Posted by Hello

Lilypie Baby Days

Friday, July 02, 2004

  Have a great 4th of July weekend!!! Posted by Hello

Thursday, July 01, 2004

  Claire a few minutes after birth Posted by Hello

  Claire at almost three months old. Wow what a diference three months makes. Posted by Hello

Monday, June 28, 2004

  Claire's three months old. I'll have to post recent pictures soon.

Lilypie Baby Days

Friday, June 18, 2004

  You know you're from Texas if...

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

4. You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I am fixin' to go to the store." (note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word....)

6 All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables for your own car.

9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

l0. You only have five spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup, Chili powder and, maybe, Tabasco and Cinnamon.

11. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

12. You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

13. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

16 You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.

17. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.

18 You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.

19 Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world".

20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke ....regardless of brand or flavor.

For experimental purposes, I have actually tried to go a whole day without saying "fixin", it's impossible.

I remember when Kenny and I started dating how he thought it was so funny that we all said we were going to get a coke but everyone in our house drank Dr. Pepper. That was before he turned me to the dark side. I only drink Coke now and never touch Dr. Pepper.

Yes, I have actually used both the heater and air conditioner in the same day.
It's crazy!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

  The Bees Knees

My Mom came through surgery fabulously. She even took a few steps yesterday with the help of a walker. I'll post later on the hilarity of getting her to the hospital with my grandmother in tow.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

  Prayer Request

Please say a prayer for my Mom tomorrow (Monday) as she undergoes double knee replacement surgery.We are praying that she will get through surgery with no complications and have a smooth and quick recovery. She is going to have to do a lot of therapy and basically learn to walk again. Your continued prayers for her in the next few months would be greatly appreciated. Her name is Pam.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

  I took more pictures over the weekend. I can't stop! Posted by Hello

Friday, May 28, 2004

Claire's 2 months old Posted by Hello

She was actually two months old on Wednesday but it took me a while to figure out how to post a picture on the blog.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

  How Appropriate

I was on a "Baby sign" message board this morning. It's about teaching your baby sign language so it's easier for them to communicate with you before they can speak. We taught Auggie one word "please" and it was great. I wish I had taught him more.
Anyway this board had a link to the American Sign language browser. It's like a big illustrated dictionary for sign language. I thought the sign for abortion was very demonstrative.You have to scroll down the right side of the page and click on the word.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

  Happy Birthday to Mackie!

Five years ago we had our eldest son Mac. He was born on a Tuesday. He was tiny. He was born a month early and weighed only 4 pounds. He was absolutely perfect.There was nothing wrong with him, they kept him in the hospital for three days and then let him come home. When we brought him home, he weighed 3 pounds 15 ounces.

We were amazed they let us leave with him. I remember having the conversation with Kenny when we were driving away from the hospital that I kept expecting people to run out of the hospital to try and keep us from leaving. How could we be qualified to be parents?

In some ways that day feels like a lifetime ago and in other ways, it feels like it was just yesterday. They weren't kidding when they say time flies. Where have the last five years gone?

Happy Birthday Kenneth McClellan Scagel IV !!!!!

Not only does Mac share his birthday with His Holiness Pope John Paul II, but also with the Uber-writer/editor Paul Thigpen. Happy birthday, Papa and Professor Thiggy.

Monday, May 17, 2004

  Now I know why I don't watch T.V. in the morning

There are some things like train wrecks and car crashes that you don't want to watch but you can't help it, you're mesmerized ,you just can't turn away.

ABC's "The View" is one of those phenomenons. Every few months I will happen upon it and decide to listen to these "average American" women wax on about important "issues". There is a person on the panel for every demographic, young married girl with no kids (who by the way is the most conservative) middle aged married mom with kids, middle aged ex-lawyer diva who's engaged and senior citizen touchy-feely "what kind of tree would you be" journalist who's supposed to be the voice of wisdom but in actuality is completely out of touch with what most americans think. When she speaks I continually wait for one of the other women to say " Oh, shove it Babs!" but they never do.

Yesterday in "Hot Topics" there were a couple things that made me go AAAHHHH! One of which was the issue that apparently, our athletes were told that if they win in the summer Olympic games, they were not to wave the flag around in celebration. No victory laps around the track draped in the red, white and blue. I guess it's too showy, too in your face. Not sensitive to others.

My reaction was one of guffaw. Give me a break.

The comment from one of the view women was "It makes me sad, America's just not liked very much in the world right now". Oh Please! There will never be a time when everybody loves you, you'll never make everyone happy. Maybe we should just stick to doing the right thing and not worry if we're the most popular.

It just burns me up that athletes who've worked their whole lives at being the best in their sport are supposed to refrain from acting excited when they win. Maybe instead of waving the flag, they could just throw it on the ground and sit on it. Would that make these people happy? No. And let me be the first to tell you, if something terrorist related were to happen in Greece this summer which I think is highly likely, these people, the kind of people who don't think our athletes should wave the flag in celebration, will be the ones telling you that it's our fault.

I could go on but I'm through ranting for now.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

  Thank You

Things have been a bit rocky around here the last couple weeks. I really was not prepared for how much time it is really going to take to recover fully from the c-section I had. We're taking things hour by hour. I will be totally fine and then five minutes later be a sobbing mess. The sleep deprivation does not help, but I just never thought I would have to have a strategic plan for getting out of bed and getting to the bathroom.

As I was feeling sorry for myself the other day and crying over the way things should have been, Kenny reminded me very clearly of how many things I had to be grateful for. I was crying about being so close, having to go through labor and being at the end and I could have just pushed her out had she been in the right position.And how there just wasn't anything worse than the c-section and how when we have any other children I'll have to have a c-section and there's nothing worse than that. He then reminded me that there was something significantly worse than that. He said " you could have died, and the bay could have died" . I felt pretty dumb then. He was right.

When I started thinking about it, I realized how many things had gone right. The Doctor I wanted was there in his office on that day. He has two different offices, it just happened to be a day when he was in that office. I had a fabulous midwife who listened to me and my sense that something wasn't right. Believe me, that does NOT necessarily happen when you are in a hospital. The staff was incredible, they went to great lengths to do things how I would prefer them, and when they couldn't were very good at explaining what they were going to have to do and why.

I know that all of the things that went right were not coincidence but were a result of all the prayers that were said for Claire and me from our family and friends. So while I still grieve over things not going as planned and try to adjust to the changes to our future that are a result of this birth, I am so grateful for all the wonderful people who prayed and called and brought food and offered help to us. So, thank you, to all our friends and family. Throughout the last two weeks we have been truly blessed by your caring and thoughtfulness.

Have a blessed Easter

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

  Claire Susannah has arrived!

Claire made her entrance into the world Friday March 26th at 10:15 in the morning. It was a wild strange birth. Apparently those are the only kind I have. The end result is a beautiful healthy baby girl who weighed 8 lbs. 1 oz. at birth and was 19 inches long. I'll give the blow by blow details below. If you aren't into that kind of thing then don't keep reading. If you are, then you'll be surprised, sometimes the truth is stranger then fiction.

Thursday March 25th : I'd been having contractions on and off all day and was frustrated that they weren't really picking up in intensity. I took a nap Thursday afternoon and they stopped. When I got up they started again. They kept going so later on that night we decided it would be best to make our way up to the Birth Center as it was quite a drive and I did not want to be stuck in the car in excruciating pain.

10:00 pm: We call Betty our midwife and tell her we are going to come in. we get our final things packed and send the boys off with my mom.

12:00 am the 26th: We get to the birth center and Betty checks me and says I am 2 centimeters dilated. She suggests that we try to get some sleep as this was very early labor. So we go to sleep and my contractions stop again. I woke up a couple of times but Kenny insisted I go back to sleep.

5:30 am I finally convince Kenny to get up and we go talk to Betty to see what our options are. When I was up walking around I would have contractions. Betty suggested that she try to "strip my membranes" or "stir things up" I immediately agreed.

6:00 Betty "strips my membranes" which is definitely not a pleasant experience. My husband was very supportive but I still remembering wishing he had anything resembling membranes that could be stripped. Betty then says that after she stirred things up I was now dilated to 3 or 4 centimeters. The baby is definitely coming today she said.

6:10 I start having good contractions and we settle in to our labor routine. We watched When Harry met Sally while I sat on the birthing ball. The Birthing Ball is a large exercise ball. I would sit on it and it helped with all the pain and pressure from contractions. Betty would come in every few minutes to check on me and listen to the baby's heartbeat. Things were heating up pretty quickly and the contractions started to hurt quite a bit. I kept thinking wow, these are bad now, how much worse are they going to get.

8:30 I have the first of two monster contractions and tell Kenny to call my mom and tell them to get in the car and come up there. I knew this was going much faster than my other births. The second bad contraction was really soon after the first and I was getting loud. Something didn't seem right to me and I asked Betty if everything seemed normal to her. She said everything seemed fine, that I was doing great but she would go ahead and check me if I wanted her to. I said I did.

9:00 Betty checks me to see how dilated I was. She has a funny look on her face and asks me if the baby has been moving a lot.I said she'd been moving some in between contractions but not to much. I ask why and Betty tell me that she's not feeling the baby's head anymore, she's feeling "parts" meaning it could be the baby's hand or something above her head. She says I'm dilated to 5 centimeters and that we need to go up to the office to get a sonogram and find out exactly what the baby's position was.

9:05 we get in our Suburban to make the short drive over to the Doctors office. It takes about seven minute to get to the Doctors office if you drive slow. Kenny was telling me he was trying to avoid the bumps. I told him I didn't care at that point just get there as fast as you can. I knew something wasn't right. Suddenly I felt this quick horrible sharp pain that made me scream. It was like a horse kicked me "down there". It was not a contraction, I've never felt anything like that. I scared the crap out of Kenny, he was just telling me to hold on, we were almost there.

9:12ish we pull into the parking lot at Betty's Office which is right next door to the hospital. I get out of the car and as Betty comes up to me I tell her something is very wrong. I'm a bit panicky at this point. She says forget the office let's walk straight to the hospital. So we start walking and I tell them to stop. I started having an awful contraction and as soon as I could get the words out "my water"... My water broke or should say exploded everywhere, all over me. Which prompted Betty and Kenny to each take one of my elbows and try to maneuver me across the parking lot as quick as possible. Meanwhile Betty';s on the phone telling the nurses what's going on, to get a room ready that we were coming in hot. I'm trying to tell them that I feel something down there, Something was out I just wasn't sure what. I thought it might be the cord so I was pretty scared.

9:20ish They get me into a room where there are nurse buzzing around like very bust bees. I remember somehow making it up on the bed where Betty immediately checked me and said I was completely dilated and yes I was right, there was something out, but it wasn't the cord: it was my daughters hand. I yelled, "Her HAND, are you kidding?" Betty told them to prep for delivery thinking that the baby's head might be right behind that arm and I might deliver soon. I started to freak out fearing another big contraction and Betty told me to be calm. They gave me a shot of Terbutaline to stop my uterus from contracting so we could figure out what the baby was doing. Betty was in total control. Cool as a cucumber. Actually now that I think about it, I was pretty cool myself, she told me not to freak out and I calmed down, I believed her. She told them to call Dr. McDonald over, he was next door at the office seeing patients.

Meanwhile the nurses are busy poking things into both of my arms trying to draw blood and start an IV. I have notoriously bad veins so they were having difficulty in doing both. I was a bit frustrated and almost asked if they wanted me to do it. Anyway, in comes Dr. McDonald. He and Betty are partners and he is great so I was highly confident that if it was possible for me to try and push the baby out that he would let me try. He does the sonogram and everyone makes a collective groan , well not me I'm flat on my back wanting information and the collective groan doesn't sound too promising. The baby for some reason unknown to all had pushed her head to the right side of my uterus and had gotten her arm and shoulder engaged in the birth canal and was waving her little hand at all of the outside world. It was apparent then that she was not going to come out that way. He was going to have to do an emergency c-section.

Dr. McDonald was great at explaining what was going to happen and he immediately told us that although he would like to be able to do a typical low-lying horizontal incision that they normally do for c-sections,it would not be easy getting the baby out that way because of how she was stuck down in there. He was going to have to do a classic midline vertical incision. We told him to do what he had to do.

So they start prepping me for surgery. The closest situation this resembled to me was a pit crew changing the tires and gassing up the car , getting it ready to go out on the track again. They were shaving and catheterizing and bringing more people in to hunt down my elusive veins. The nurse anesthetist was telling me she was going to do a spinal block on me and I wouldn't feel a thing from the chest down but I would be able to be awake for the surgery and Kenny could be there with me.

I would periodically freak out a bit when I could feel the baby moving her hand down there. They kept telling me that was good that meant the baby was fine. I kept wanting to remind them that it obviously meant I wasn't fine, you know the fact that I'm still pregnant but my child is trying to hi-five people in the outside world. I let it go but I certainly didn't stop telling them when she was moving her little hand down there.

They wheeled me in to the OR and after a few tries were able to get the spinal to work and right after it took effect, they started the surgery. They brought Kenny in and he and the nurse anesthetist really worked to keep me calm. Your whole body goes num so fast and because it's all dead weight, you get the feeling that you can't breath very well which really freaked me out and they had to calm me down.

10:15: our beautiful little baby girl was born. An hour and fifteen minutes after the first sign that there was a problem. She cried really well and was bright pink. They took her away to make sure she was ok. They wheeled me back to the room where my mom and friend were and after a little bit they brought me the baby so I could try to nurse her before they gave me the really good drugs and I would have no interest in anything but sleeping.

We are so happy our baby girl is here, despite her wild entrance. She is really a joy. Click on her name to see Claire Susannah Scagel.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

  No baby yet

I have officially passed my due date. My birthday was yesterday and baby Claire has still not made her arrival. I have what I call "end stage pregnancy madness". Nothing is comfortable, sleep is a joke and I almost screamed at Kenny today in the car because for a moment, I was convinced he was making a serious effort to hit every pothole he could spot in the road. Start praying for him now, he has to drive me thirty-five minutes north to Denton when I go into labor. He's dreading it.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

  Bishop Displays Absolute Inability to See Irony of Statement

I laughed out loud at this. I shouldn't have, but I have a perverse sense of humor.

I was looking at azcentral.com to see if by some editorial oversight they had printed my email in re: the ridiculous vice-Mayor of Mesa's op-ed piece. While there, I spotted this headline:

Bishop Seeks Probation

The article opens thusly:

Bishop Thomas J. O'Brien acknowledged for the first time publicly Friday that he feels responsible for the hit-and-run death of a pedestrian last summer.

But he implored a judge to sentence him to probation so he can "continue to serve the church and the community."

OK, Christian Charity demands that I love and pray for this poor man, who presided over the liturgical and catechetical destruction of the Diocese of Phoenix , covered for abusing priests, and then hit a man with the diocesan Buick and drove off. I'm working on it ("Just Do It" is sometimes an excellent slogan for acts of Charity as well as sneakers).

But, I think it is not outside the bounds of Charity to be able to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the statement above. I mean, if his actions as bishop are to be taken as normative of his behavior and his ideas of how to serve the church and community, wouldn't it be a greater service if the judge just locked him up?

Friday, March 19, 2004

  The Vice-Mayor has a Conniption

A correspondant friend of mine sent me a link to an article on the azcentral.com web site. It is an op-ed piece by the Vice-mayor of Mesa, AZ, Dennis Kavanaugh.

It seems the Vice-mayor is somewhat dismayed at the return of the Latin Mass in the Diocese of Phoenix.

The article is an absolute screamer from a to z. A perfect weaving of popular mistaken opinion and progressive head-in-the-clouds, isn't-everything-getting-better-and-more-inclusive-and-more-socially-just delusion as to the meaning of Vat2 and the "reforms" of the 60's and 70's.

I then read Dom's take on the piece, and he inspired me to write a little missive to the azcentral people.

Here is the text of that email:

"I have just finished reading Dennis Kavanaugh's piece on Bishop Ohlmsted's recent decision to allow the Latin Mass to be said in his diocese.

"With all due respect to his vice-honor, it is a fairly vapid, nonsensical response to the bishop's action.

"First, the Second Vatican Council never stated that all liturgy in the Western Church should be said in the vernacular. In fact, the document Sacrosanctum Concilium states that the vernacular may be used in some cases, but that Latin should remain the ordinary language of the liturgy. If Mr. Kavanaugh would have taken the time to actually read the documents of the council he cited, he could have avoided this gross factual error.

"Also, his statement that 'Conservative groups such as Opus Dei have infiltrated the clergy in many communities and are subtly wielding power to influence many of these changes,' smacks of paranoid conspiracy theorizing. Where have these nefarious, ecclesial black-helicopter-types infiltrated? Does he know any such infiltrators, or is he making a generalization based on excerpts of The DaVinci Code?

"As someone who grew up in the 60's and 70's, I would also dispute the assertion that these decades were a "renaissance" for the Catholic Church. People left the Church in droves during this "renaissance", whether from bad catechesis or just aesthetic disgust at all the orange and brown abstract art that was produced by this blooming time of rebirth, I don't know. If one must wax poetic about those decades, the best one could hope for is some synonym for "transition" or even "liberation". But "renaissance"? That may be too revisionist by half.

"Lastly, I find it interesting that a man who lists Jimmy Carter as the person he most admires would be upset at the inclusion of a Latin Mass. Is this not diversity? Doesn't it increase the overall "church experience" to have the mass in not just English and Spanish, but also Latin?

"Increasing liturgical diversity might not be a groundbreaking, highly effective diplomatic endeavor like his honor's hero Mr. Carter performed in such places as North Korea, Cuba, or in helping to put President Aristide in power in Haiti, but the bishop is not a great statesman like the former President from Georgia. He can only hope that his efforts at expanding the liturgical horizons of the Diocese of Phoenix might meet with the same kind of resounding success as Mr. Carter's diplomatic efforts around the globe.

"Thank you for taking the time to read my email, [etc, etc]"

Not my best work, but it was late. I stole Dom's DaVinci line, but he has absolved me any charges of plagiarism.

The Jimmy Carter thing was kind of a reach, but I couldn't not take a poke at that being the person he most admires (please see this and this for a graphic tour of Mista Cahta's diplomatic triumphs).

I agree with the oft expressed sentiment that this sort of wailing and gnashing of teeth is generally a good sign. There's nothing so quickening to a Catholic as when one of the progressive nudniks who assisted in the deconstruction of the Church laments that the only people who still care about Her are the ones who actually believe in all the stuff they have tried to jettison. Rigid young priests. Deluded, masochistic laypeople yearning to be patriarchally oppressed. Neanderthalic bishops who want to reinstitute the inquisition and start warming the episcopal residence with copies of the Collected Poems and Reflections of Sister Joan Chittister.

Well, good news for Phoenix. This Olmsted fellow seems to know what he is about.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

  Now this is a good quiz

While doing a quiz in re: What cartoon dog are you? (Peabody, by the way), linked by the Summas, I came across the following - What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

My Result:

Is here. Due to some blue language, and because my wife insists that I keep the profanity down on the blog, I'll just give you the link to my result - Krusty the Clown.

Krusty is one of my absolute favs. Nothing is funnier than the "Jazz Singer" episode where we learn that Krusty is the son of a Rabbi (at the Simpsons' house, he says the traditional Hebrew meal blessing, to which Homer comments, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, he's talking funny!"). The scene where Rabbi Hyman Krustofski walks in on his son doing illicit clown practice in his room is priceless.

Looking over the possible results, I realized that the Simpsons has created more hilarious, archetypically right on characters than any show in history. I need to see if I can get the "golden years" on DVD.

Monday, March 08, 2004

  Do you believe in hard work and hockey demagoguery? YES!

My review of Miracle is up at Popcorn Critics.

  Congratulations Kirsten !

Our friend Kirsten or SpecialK as she's known over at Summa Mammas had a baby girl this morning! We are so excited for her as this is her first girl after three boys. Sophia Claire is her name.

I am so jealous! It's my turn now! There's nothing that deflates a pregnant woman like hearing that another person has had their baby. Oh well, not too long now just a couple of weeks.

Friday, March 05, 2004

  Late fashion reviews and other musings about the Oscars

I realize I am rather late in offering my opinion about Oscar fashion but I've been otherwise engaged with all things baby. The most pressing concern being getting this little girl to get into the right position.

I watch award shows for the sole purpose of seeing what people are wearing. I will tell you a few of my favorites from Oscar night. Jennifer Garner looked fabulous as did one of my least favorite actresses Renee Zellweger. Nicole hardly ever looks bad but I'm beginning to agree with Terry from Summa Mammas that if she gets much thinner, she'll fall right out of the beautiful category. I mean, if the camera adds 20 pounds, I would hate to see her in person.

Catherine Zeta-Jones always looks great, I don't think I've ever seen her look bad. I'm sure I will get a lot of flack for it but I thought Sandra Bullock looked very pretty on Oscar night. Now that I see the picture, I admit it's to foo foo and poofy for my taste but watching the telecast I thought she looked great.

Now to who I thought should shoot their stylists. Uma Thurman wins the worst dressed for her odd "Gypsy Tulle" getup. Diane Keaton also wins for worst dressed (she qualifies under the crossdressing category). I really didn't like what Samantha Morton was wearing, I didn't like the colors. I hated what Jada Pinkett-Smith wore. It was awful all around, lots of bright white beading on the top with sheer fabric then some big camouflage rose print on bottom. Horrible, just horrible.

Over all, I thought the show was pretty boring. I'm kind of tired of there always being a Lord of the Rings movie up for awards. Rings should probably win in every category it's in because it so far surpasses the other movies technically. I will take exception though to the original song. I think the song that Sting wrote for Cold Mountain was the best and it's great in the movie.

I don't think they actually used the Annie Lennox song during the "Return of the King" I guess it's just for the credits. If someone was really trying to torture me, they might make me listen to Annie lennox for an extended period of time or worse yet, make me watch her while she sings. It's really painful, she contorts her face and opens her mouth so wide you could drive a Buick into it.

Everybody won who I thought would win. With the exception of Miss Zelwegger's win, I was in agreement with most of the awards going to who they did. Oh except I'm so tired of the get ugly, play retarded or over the top performance which includes an overdone accent ploys to win awards. This is the third year in a row that an actress has won a role by making herself ugly. Two years ago it was Halle Berry for "Monster's Ball" (although Halle really never looks ugly) last year it was a big nosed "Hours" Nicole Kidman and this year uglied up "Monster" Charlize Theron. Of course there is also the aforementioned over acted Zellweger "Cold Mountain" performance.

And while I agree that Sean Penn's and Tim Robbins's performances were really great in "Mystic River" the movie as a whole was such a mess. I guess that's why they give awards for the individual performance.

The show was pretty boring, no flashing breasts or really bad political speeches just predictable winners and painfully long embarrassing acceptance speeches.

  The Great Leader Presumptive

If you needed any reason NOT to vote for John Kerry, READ THIS STORY.

It's nice that these paragons of Far East journalistic impartiality have given us a clear contrast between the candidates.

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